I remember being fourteen years old, gazing at a boy from my next class. I can’t forget the embarrassment when I got caught staring at him in a lustful way. Not knowing exactly what that attraction meant at that age, I remember thinking: “No, this is wrong, I can’t be attracted to boys, I should look at girls instead and just suppress my feelings.”
I remember coming to terms with my sexuality was a full-long as well as a confusing process. Once you have found out your sexual orientation, accepting who you are and being proud of it is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet. Unfortunately, I had to learn it the hard way. Thankfully, you don’t have to. So, if you feel the sexual urge for the same sex but struggle with accepting this fact, here is a guide for you.
All of us, at an age, question our sexuality. But, none of us chooses to be attracted to people of the same sex. So if you are attracted to men, it is most essential that you come out to yourself. Some people in the journey of finding who you are would believe that sexual orientation is a choice. Don’t listen to them and don’t attempt to change your feelings.
For others to accept you, first be comfortable with your sexual identity. Tell yourself: “I am unique and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is part of who I am.” Once you are at ease with your own sexuality, you will have a healthy self-image. This way, ‘when’ and ‘how’ of coming out often fall into place naturally.
You are not alone!
It’s absolutely okay to feel isolated right after discovering your sexual orientation. Keeping all activism aside, the truth is members of the LGBTQ+ community are yet sexual minorities around the world. Nevertheless, there are many agencies, groups, and advisers on the internet that you can turn to for help. These groups and online communities will help you make some new friends, and establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around you.
Consider telling your family
Before coming out, remember your family loves you just as you are. Choose the family member you are particularly close with. Let this person know what you’re going through. He or she should help you with a plan on informing everyone.
If you know anyone who has struggled with this exact same thing, ask him to join you at the time of coming out. While talking about it, it will be great if you could lean on someone who will be a great resource for your sense of strength. If your family would not accept you, find a mentor who can help you transition this tough phase.
[Mummy, Mai Gay Hoon!
Hai, mere bête ko Karan Johar wali bimari lag gayi]
Don’t fit in! Enjoy being unique
Being gay doesn’t mean conforming to gay stereotypes. Being gay doesn’t make you any less masculine. So, there is no reason for you to conform to stereotypes that don’t feel right. You don’t have to fit into the gay community simply because one doesn’t need to fit into the straight community.
Forgive the ignorant and move on
[Hi Didi kaise ho?
Huh! My name is Rahul.]
People can be cruel and closed-minded. Keep in mind that many people around you will not approve of “your lifestyle”. Instead of wasting your effort on such folks, forgive them for being ignorant. Ideally, you should encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way you do – not something you can change. But, you can’t waste your energy on people who are nasty. So, if you can’t muster forgiveness, be indifferent to them.